We Never Were
by memillionthdollar
Summary: Elphaba has ended up where she never expected to end up, married to a wealthy and handsome man but seemingly abandoned by her friends. Her life certainly seems to have improved to anyone who knew her in Shiz, if only it was as good as it looked from the outside. Post-Shiz AU filled with good ol' fashioned angsty Fiyeraba.
1. Chapter 1

**~OzOzOz~**

Miss Elphaba Tourlock awoke quite suddenly. Alone in her bed, her fingers stretched out towards someone she thought was there. For a moment, she stared at the spot, watching her fingers trace lines in the air. As they danced, they drew in the face she had been dreaming about. That familiar jawline, the faint indents on the skin that always seemed to imply diamonds. She frowned, letting her digits fall.

_I would rather not have that dream again._ She thought, rubbing the image of that dark complexion out of her mind as she slinked out from under the opulent covers. She seated herself at her vanity, sighing and examining her complexion. _I get to see myself grow older, and I'll only know his face in his youth. How terrible I'll feel in a few years if I'm still dreaming about a college boy. _

She scoffed at that, drawing her hair into a low bun with an elegance that had escaped her in her time at Shiz. She would prefer to forget his face, stop thinking about him all together. He certainly wasn't having any dreams about her; if he were she would get a letter every now and then. Her thoughts, or rather her attempts to stop thinking, followed her to the armoire as she slipped on a simple black housedress and still, even as she left the room, the image of his hands on her waist followed her.

Despite the simplicity of her dress, one could tell it was quite expensive with the right eye. From the intricate stitching to the weighty fabric to the rare buttons that ran down the front in a crisp line, it was clearly bought from a very deep purse. It paired well with the marble staircase, the dark stained bookshelves and the unnecessary amount of bathrooms, studies, dining rooms, bedrooms, spare rooms and closets… The list goes on, and Elphaba herself couldn't be sure if she had seen every room that her home had to offer. It always seemed too much to her, but she found if she closed her eyes more often, she didn't feel so overwhelmed.

As she enjoyed the sensation of a particularly soft hallway rug on her feet, she cursed under her breath. _Bare feet are reserved for people who can't afford shoes, and really have no place stomping around our beautiful home._ She recalled him and his words, silently mocking her husband's odd quirks as she rounded a corner and made way for the front door. She always kept a spare pair of flats in several locations, just for moments like these. Running back up that grand, much-too-big staircase just for a pair of shoes used to ruin her mornings.

The flats had been carefully placed, right by the large white entrance with its carved archway. As she ran to them and slipped them on, the door opened quite suddenly, and she leapt back. As she grunted in surprise, a maid stepped through the threshold.

"Oh, beg your pardon, Madame. I just came from collecting the mail." The girl said apologetically.

"You haven't ruined my morning." Elphaba assured, stopping for a moment to search for the girl's name. As they stood in awkward eye contact, it dawned on her that she didn't recognize this one. The silence continued, the maid waiting in a strange limbo. Elphaba could see her thinking process; _should I leave? Should I wait for her to say something?_ Poor thing was intimidated. The lady of the house quickly searched for a topic, a reason to break the silence and send one of them on their way.

"I'll take that." She said, in a tone that generally implied a sour attitude to anyone who didn't know her. She had a bad habit of sounding negative, even in her best of moods. She reached out for the post, a pile of official letters and business that she knew little about.

"Madame, I was told to-"

"Bring the mail to my husband, I'm sure. No need, I would rather bring it myself."

Wiping a small amount of sweat from her forehead, the servant gave a quick bow, a meek "very well" and scurried off down one of the hallways. Elphaba watched her go, and then turned her attention to the pile in her hand. The top letter was addressed, as she guessed, to her husband. Some business from the south, boring, boring. She wandered down the hall, aiming for the study she knew her husband preferred. As she did, she shuffled the papers, just in case there happened to be any news for her. Perhaps a letter from Shiz, or Nessa or…

_No._

She froze in her tracks, staring at the letter in her hand addressed to one Miss Elphaba Tourlock, of the Tourlock Estate of Great Gillikin. Her hands flew, tearing open the packing and unfolding the letter waiting inside. She read it once, twice, and then furrowed her brows. _What nerve. _

She stomped into the study, where Steiner Tourlock sat huddled over some papers next to a comforting, crackling fire. He was a handsome man, no one could deny that. He had a fair complexion, as most Gilliken folk did, was well built, and had a pair of simply striking grey eyes. In their early years, Elphaba often stared at him from her side of the bed, or dinner table, smitten like the girls she used to mock. She often tangled her fingers in his hair, wondering how she'd won such a fine gentleman. He looked up from his work just as she dumped his mail in front of him. His eyes widened in a strange, dark surprise that she would have seen had she been paying attention.

"Elphaba, why do you have that?" He noticed his own tone, and adjusted himself quickly, "You never bother with retrieving the mail."

Ignoring his questions, her temper flared as she paced, "She says she wants us to come to Chuffrey's birthday celebration. I've barely met the man more than twice! She also says that it's a shame we don't see more of each other. Really! The nerve, what right does she have to say that?"

"Elphaba-"

"_One letter._ One letter in three years and it's an invitation to be a seat filler at her bland husband's birthday!"

"Elphaba, the fireplace!"

She ignored his warnings as he rose from his seat, approaching her. In her rant, she was oblivious to the steadily rising fire. It grew so intensely that it clearly could not be any natural means, and threatened to engulf the whole estate. Still, she continued.

"Of course, I was good enough for her in Shiz after her pretty friend's abandoned her for fairer company. She adored me when it was convenient for her, but the moment we graduate-"

Her speech was cut off by a rough slap. She paused, eyes wide as she noticed the fireplace for the first time. Enchanted flames had been licking at the onxy arch that adorned the pit, glowing green and taking strange shapes. It was dying down now, as Steiner took her in his arms.

"Thank you." She said as he stroked the very cheek he had bruised.

"Keep breathing, dear." He said, "You've got to stop these outbursts."

"I haven't lost control in years." She protested, pushing away from him and seating herself in the far corner of the room. Her eyes were locked on the fire, watching the bewitched flames return to normal with each breath she took. There was silence for a while, and eventually Steiner moved to toss the letter into the fire.

She stiffened in her chair, "What are you doing?"

He stared back in disbelief, "Clearly we wont be going."

Her voice caught in her throat. He examined her face.

"Clearly we wont be going." He repeated, a harsher tone this time, tossing it into the flames.

Elphaba let out a gasp, and the parchment shot quickly out of the pit, skidding across the floor and landing at her feet. He bristled at the sight, his disapproval obvious. She lurched forward, collecting the precious piece and clutching it in her hands.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She said immediately, of the magical outburst, "I promise it will stop."

"Elphaba, look at the state you were in over her. We can't attend a party and expect that you won't destroy the place. Someone will get hurt."

"It doesn't happen that often." She shot back.

She looked up to an unsympathetic face. Her mouth contorted, "Please, Steiner, I think I need to see her."

He sighed, "Glinda abandoned you. You said so yourself. A moment ago you were all but cursing her name, now you say you want to _see_ her?"

"It's not that far, we're near enough to the Uplands. If I'm unhappy, we can leave right after dinner."

"Why should we give her that? She hasn't bothered to see you since our wedding."

She felt the conversation hit a wall. Steiner was right, and when he was right he didn't allow much room for negotiation.

"She has ignored every letter you've sent her. Clearly, she isn't worth our time, and that letter belongs in the fire."

He was right, of course he was right. _He's always right_, she thought with just a little bitterness. She would be happier to ignore the invitation, she was sure. But still, if she could just speak to Glinda... Maybe they could reconnect, finally talk about what had caused them to grow apart, what had caused Fiyero to disappear from her life. As quickly as he had flashed across her mind, she pushed him from her thoughts. No, she wouldn't ask about him. She didn't need to know about him, she didn't care. She folded the letter neatly.

"Steiner-"

"No." He said firmly, seating himself back at the desk and reaching for the letters that had been forgotten.

"Yes."

He looked up, his eyes glowing as they reflected the flames.

"I'm going," She continued, "If I have to magic my way there, I'm going. But I get the sense you'd rather not undo all our hard work on that, so it would be better if we just took a carriage together."

His lips twisted, she could see him biting back something. He clenched his pen like one would clench a throat.

"If you really want to." He said, through gritted teeth.

"I do."

"Fine," He said, releasing his grip on the quill. She could see the red marks on his hand from holding it so hard. Satisfied, she turned to leave before he could make another argument.

"In the future," He said as she stepped out, "Let the maids handle the mail."


	2. Chapter 2

**(First off, wow, guys. Thanks so much for the warm reception on chapter 1! I certainly hope the story lives up to your expectations! I'm honored, super honored, please continue enjoying!)**

**~OzOzOz~**

The Tourlocks sat in silence as their carriage moved forward into the night. They had been traveling for a good few hours, and the occupants of the cart were clearly stiff from the journey. It was a feat, being uncomfortable in such a vehicle, considering the plush seats that implied it was meant for such lengthy rides. Though the discomfort may not have been entirely from the ride.

Steiner was moody; he had been all day. All week, actually. From the moment Elphaba had announced her plans to attend Glinda's event, he had taken every chance to protest. His attempts to talk her out of it had only succeeded in distancing the couple. Elphaba's determination to go grew with each day, and her will was only strengthened by each "no" she had received. Before they had they boarded the carriage, he had taken her by the arms rather roughly, perhaps in one last attempt to get her to resign her plan.

"One outburst, of any kind, I am taking you home." He had said. She replied with a robotic assurance that she was under control, and pulled away, but he pulled her back and tightened his grip, "I mean it. One gust of wind, the tiniest quake in the floor…"

His threat hadn't swayed her, though, and she stepped defiantly into the carriage. They remained silent, Elphaba left to her own thoughts, rubbing her arm where he had held her. She was used to a certain amount of force, some was necessary to keep her unnatural abilities under control. Some was not necessary. His grip had soured her towards him, if his behavior in the past week had not already soured her enough. She had never taken kindly to these unwarranted acts of aggression on his part. So, in her usual manner, she would be curt with him all night.

She was still seething over the incident when Steiner cleared his throat to speak for the first time since their journey had begun.

"We're here." He said.

She leapt to life, peering out the window to see the estate her old friend had acquired in her married life. She found herself impressed. It was every bit as magnificent as she expected Glinda Upland's home to be. Tall towers, fountains, lush gardens. She couldn't help but be reminded of the bubbly, sweet blonde as she had last seen her, and it made her stomach lurch. She began to wonder what sort of new, petty friends she had acquired since contact had ceased between her and Elphaba.

"Will you really be wearing that all night?"

Elphaba blinked, reminded of the pointed hat atop her head. Perhaps she wouldn't. She may lose her nerve and take the foul thing off; after all it was clearly a wretched hat. She had worn in defiantly, as Elphaba did with most things, after her old roomie had given it to her as a prank. In Shiz, with her glasses and potato sack dresses, it suited her. It was hardly becoming of a society woman to wear such a piece. And yet, when she had fished it out of an old hatbox in the back of the closet after searching for a decent dress to wear, she held it for so long that Steiner thought she was hypnotized by it. She kept it on her vanity, putting it on and taking it off again when the night finally arrived. She debated back and forth, wondering if Glinda would even remember the thing or what it had meant to them. In the end, she took it after she heard her husband grumble about how ugly it was.

Now, though, stepping out of the carriage and standing in a sea of well-dressed people, she was doubting. _No, don't doubt. _She told herself. Her dress was clearly incredible, and costly, no one would judge her after seeing the layers of midnight black silk and all the effort that had clearly gone into making that dress. No one could doubt her status, especially not with such a fine gown or such an elegant pearl choker around her neck. The hat accented it, she decided. She could always throw it in a trash bin if she really felt embarrassed about it.

The inside of the estate was exactly as she imagined it would be. Marble floors, tall windows with pastel curtains, tasteful paintings and vases of flowers. The whole interior looked like a dress she could remember dear Glinda wear sometime in the past. She looked around, ready to catch a glimpse of the woman she came here to see.

_I'll just get it over with. If she brushes me off quickly, at least I'll know she's turned back to the foul, petty girl I knew in first year of Shiz. Steiner can find some excuse to leave early, and I'll never bring her up again._

"Excuse me," She finally approached a servant after searching the crowds in the main ballroom, "Do you know where Lady Glinda is?"

The servant blinked away his surprise at her skin, Oz it had been a long time since she had been around anyone who wasn't used to her complexion. As he shook it off, he gave a polite reply.

"Her entrance shall be announced shortly, Madame."

An announced entrance, naturally. Satisfied with that, Steiner and Elphaba moved through the crowds, eventually succeeding in settling off to the side, with two flutes of champagne, in tense silence of course. She looked around for someone else she might know, Boq or perhaps even one of those awful Shiz girls. What delight she would take in showing off her husband, even if he_ was_ being rude tonight. She almost couldn't wait to let him lead her in a waltz, show Pfannee or Shenshen what a graceful woman she'd become, though the idea of his hands on her didn't excite her at the moment.

As she pondered her revenge fantasy, the ultimate comeuppance of those girls, a trumpet sounded and directed her attention to the staircase at the end of the ballroom. A well dressed servant began speaking from the top step.

"Announcing Sir Chuffrey Paltos and Lady Glinda Paltos of the Upper Uplands."

There was a polite cheer; a light clinking of glasses filled the room as her old friend stepped out before her. Her husband was as bland as the last time Elphaba had seen him, still boring to look at, definitely not handsome. He may have been doughy, but the woman on his arm was anything but.

Radiant was the word for Glinda. The world had continued to be good to her, her smile was still wide and infectious, her hair spilled in those perfect blonde curls and she carried herself with the grace she had always possessed. She waved to the crowd, already enchanting anyone who watched her. Chuffrey whispered something to her and she let out a magical giggle, pecking him on the cheek before addressing her guests.

"Thank you all so very much for attending this wonderful night," As she spoke she scanned the crowd somewhat hastily. She was looking up and down; her head moving to and fro like a bird looking for a worm would. Still, even with her eyes scanning the crowd like a hawk, her smile remained wide and warm. "It means so much to us that you could all be here to celebrate my dear Chuffrey and-"

Her voice caught in her throat. She was looking at Elphaba now. The flash of green and the pointed hat couldn't have stayed hidden in the mass of faces for very long. Elphaba swallowed, butterflies churned in her stomach. Glinda was looking at her very strangely, her dainty mouth sat agape. For a moment, she was still, and then she went back to performing her lovely little play. Elphaba watched her curiously as she finished her speech, her thank you's and such. She squinted as Glinda raised a hand to her eyes. Was she wiping away a tear or two?

The speech finished, more glasses clinked in approval and Glinda seemed to race down the stairs. The haste was invisible to most, but Elphaba remembered that body language. Back in Shiz when Glinda would see Elphaba across the courtyard, back before she had dropped her nastier friends, she would politely excuse herself from the group and walk toward her Elphie with that same intent. She had a special way of appearing calm while something was bubbling up in her. But she wasn't making her way towards Elphaba was she? Oh, she was. Elphaba saw it in the way she would stop to greet an official or chat with a friend, all the while glancing in her direction and marking the green woman's position. If Elphaba moved, which she had at one point as her nerves got to her, Glinda would tactfully reposition her conversation to have a view of her. So eventually, Glinda made it through the crowd after politely parting with an odd looking politician, landing directly in front of Elphaba.

For a moment, both were still. Elphaba began feeling stupid in a way that she hadn't felt since Shiz. An anxiety crept up her back and she wondered if now was the time to snatch off her hat.

"You came." Glinda squeaked, eventually. Tears began welling up in her eyes, and her hand reached out shakily towards Elphaba's. Her pink fingers intertwined with green ones, but there was a hesitation in them. When Elphaba didn't pull her hand back, Glinda allowed hers to hold it just a tad tighter. In silence, Lady Paltos studied the hand she held, noticing that her friend was sporting a manicured and lacquered nail. She let a sentimental smile grow on her lips.

"Elphie, I've missed you so." She said softly. She looked up, as if to say more as a woman stepped in to pop their little bubble.

"Glinda, dear," She chirped, "Thank you so much for having dear Manderly and I. You simply must meet our good friend from the Emerald City, she's the life of the party."

"Oh," Glinda's posture was restored, and a tear was expertly wiped away by a birdlike hand, "Of course, I'll be right there. Elphaba, perhaps we can speak later? I'll call upon you a little later in the evening."

"Oh… Of course." Elphaba couldn't help but feel a little bruised as Glinda was led away before a proper explanation could be made.

"I'm going to get more drink." Steiner huffed, and stalked off. She had forgotten he was there. She didn't reply as he left her standing alone on the edge of the crowd, studying her glass in confusion. _She's missed me so. _Elphaba pondered that, searching for an answer in her drink. Glinda's behavior certainly didn't enlighten her, in fact she now found herself thoroughly confused. _She has missed me. As though she hadn't left me._

She groaned, and turned to find somewhere else to go. She was no longer interested in this ballroom, this crowd. The best she could do for herself was to find a quiet room to calm down, or think. Preferably without her husband following her, she was not in the mood for him to return with a convenient excuse to leave early. She wouldn't leave till she had spoken to Glinda, properly spoken to her like she had been promised. She could ask her then, she could ask her why her letters were ignored, why her dear friend had decided to leave her life. There was an unlit hallway near her; its lack of light seemed to imply it was closed to visitors, which meant it was exactly where Elphaba wanted to be. She set off; the hall was lit only by the blue stained glass windows that lined the right side. Moonlight shown through it, creating patterned patches on the floor, like neat rows of diamond shaped leaves that refused to bend to the wind's will.

Then, she noticed something as she hit the end of the hall. Behind her, footsteps could be heard. It approached at a steady pace, and she began preparing a good excuse to tell whatever servant it was why she was down here when she clearly shouldn't be. Soft footsteps grew closer and the light began to illuminate a fine suit as she turned around, clearly not a servant's wardrobe. She had just decided that the jacket it wore seemed fit for a prince when the face that wore it came into view.

She froze, and he froze.

The stained glass painted him in blue diamonds.

"May I speak with you?" Fiyero Tiggular asked.

**~OzOzOz~**


	3. Chapter 3

**(Glad you guys seem to be enjoying. Your reviews always tickle me pink, and I love hearing your theories on where the story is headed/whats going on/etc. You guys have made me feel right at home in this corner of the fanfic-world)**

**~OzOzOz~**

The door let out a soft creak as he pushed it closed behind them, the engraved mahogany shut out the rest of the party and the room grew even quieter. It was lit by the same sort of glass window as seen in the hallway it adjoined. The room was flooded in soft blue moonlight. They were in a study, books lined the walls, and several sorcery books were laid out on a nearby desk. He fiddled with the door, and she stalked over to a lone armchair near the window. She sat, back straight and stared into the steadily growing fog that covered the grounds outside.

He turned to her, and stepped forward. He paced slowly as he examined her in the moonlight. His brow furrowed slightly, every now and then he would tilt his head, and then cast his eyes to the ground. He said nothing, which seemed to be a habit of her old friends lately. Her eyes met his every time he dared to look up, and followed his path as he shuffled.

"What?" Her voice pierced the thick air like sheers snapping together.

He eyed her again, and shook his head, "You've just changed… Quite a bit." After another pause, he elaborated, "Makeup? When have you ever…?"

"If my use of eye shadow bothers you, you're welcome to go back to the party."

"No," He coughed, "No, I quite like it. I suppose I never expected it of you."

Another beat of silence. She was quickly growing tired of this situation, "You said you wanted to speak with me. What about?"

She wasn't surprised when his response was preluded with a pause. He moved to the nearest chair, pulling it closer to hers. She bristled as he approached, and he saw. He settled a yard or so away from her and she relaxed at that distance. He sat down, running a hand through that thick, dark hair of his. She couldn't help but stare, recalling the feel of it. She studied his face to see if it had changed, taking the opportunity while he didn't notice her stare. Not much had changed, but his muscles had thickened and his boyish face had given way to a stronger jaw, but it was still very much him.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"What did you want to speak to me about?" She repeated.

"I just wanted to speak. I didn't think it had to be about anything." Finally, he had responded without pausing first. But now it was her turn to shuffle in her seat, and let the room sit in silence for a moment. He wanted to know how she had been. Where should she start? She pondered this, and considered starting with the rough handling she'd received that afternoon, or the severe lack of intimacy that she had caused between her and her husband. She could bring up the constant letters his father sent them, asking when a child would be born into the family, and how they had failed all attempts to produce one. How had she been? Horrible, she decided to herself, she had been horrible.

"I've been well. Very well." She glanced at her hand, at the window. She dared to peek at him, he didn't seem satisfied and he was waiting for more. In an attempt to appease him, she added, "How has the Vinkus been?"

"I haven't been in a year or so. An Heir doesn't have much to do besides take diplomatic adventures and wait for his father to grow older." He chuckled a bit, "I've been accepted as an honorary member of the Gale Force and I've been living in the Emerald City while I work with the Wizard." He shrugged at that, as though he didn't find it particularly fulfilling, "Relations between the Vinkus and the rest of Oz have never been better."

"The Wizard?" She perked up, "Have you met him, then?"

He sighed, and caught her eyes with his, "You and I both know he's only ever asked for one person personally." He let the words sink in, watching her eyes dart away from his in shame.

"No, he never meets with me." He continued, "I mostly meet with Madame Morrible, you may remember her from Shiz, she's his Press Secretary now. She relays everything he says to me, and vice versa. Still, I suppose I'm closer to him than you are."

She stood up suddenly, smoothing out her dress. She had just about enough of this, and would not endure more of his bitter jabs. She told him as much, using more colorful vocabulary to get her point across, and headed for the door.

"I'll never understand why you threw your life away."

That made her stop in her tracks. She turned slowly, her eyes dark and her fingers clenched. A gust of phantom wind swept through the curtains, and they billowed like they were haunted before settling back down.

"You think I've-"

"Why him?" He cut her off, on his feet now.

"What?" She gaped.

"I really want to know. Why did you marry him?"

She reached for an answer, standing stupidly and slack-jawed. She gripped at some reason; she knew a reason had to be there. Of course she knew why she had married Steiner… didn't she? She could remember the courtyard at Shiz, Steiner hushing her as sobs wracked her body. She could remember a wonderful dinner in the Emerald City, where they had sat and laughed all evening, losing track of the time. She could remember Steiner sending a solid punch to Fiyero's nose after class had let out. A time that had passed, back when their romance was alive and fresh, she was once so excited by him.

She settled on the first answer she could manage to get out, "He asked."

There was more, clearly. There was much more to that, and she was ready to elaborate when he took a bold step forward.

"And if I had asked you?"

"Fiyero!"

"Would you have said yes?"

"This is hardly appropriate."

"Says the woman who had debated with our waiter about Animal cruelty on our first date. When has 'appropriate' ever suited you?"

"Stop." That was a demand, and the bookshelf quaked as she said that.

"Answer me." There was desperation in his voice.

"Yes." It was barely a sound when it escaped her lips. She regretted saying it the moment it left her, and she prayed he hadn't heard her say it.

He advanced on her, cupping her face in his hands and placing a firm kiss on her lips. For a moment, she let him linger and allowed herself to recall how wonderful this had once felt. But she only allowed herself a moment. She pushed him away, denial in her eyes.

"That will not happen again." Her voice was firm, and she turned for the door again when she felt him grab at her hand. She yanked it out of his grip quickly, but he reclaimed it and held fast. "Fiyero, let go."

He was drawing her closer to him. That kiss had felt so wonderful, so much like she remembered it.

"You wanted to ask me, then?" She choked back a sob and let herself collapse against the bookshelf.

He moved to support her as she leaned precariously against the books. His hand cradled her shoulders, having taken her hint after the kiss, and resisted the urge to move to her waist. Her tears flowed, though she still insisted on wiping them away. She pulled her lips inward, trying to hold in her dignity, but whimpers managed to escape as she tried to confront him. She let a frustrated punch hit him in the chest. It landed with a dull thud, and he took it. She curled her fist and hit again, he let her. The third hit landed, and lingered on his chest.

His hand moved to her face again, hesitantly. His fingers touched her cheek lightly, and at the touch, she pressed her face into his hand. He held her firmer now, his free hand falling down her arm and landing at her waist, where both of them wanted it to be. The emerald hand that lingered on his chest snaked up to his neck, and she drew his lips towards hers with force. The kiss was what she imagined going home after a long journey felt like. She had never particularly enjoyed returning to Muchkinland over breaks, but if she had a home that she loved, she supposed this was the same sort of sensation. His hand tightened it's grip on her waist, she was sure he felt the same sense of familiarity, the same joy. She felt herself pushed further back onto the shelf, and his hands moved down to her thighs. Just like Shiz, just like what they used to be. Always stealing kisses in between classes, taking advantage of those empty hallways and breaking before another student could see. _Always a secret,_ she thought, _even now, we're hiding._

She broke the embrace suddenly, reality crashed through her mind and shattered the fantasies she wished she didn't have. She wiped at her mouth, removing her hat to smooth her hair. She huffed in frustration and glared at him once more.

"Well, you didn't ask me." She said, now heading for the door with newfound vigor. She fiddled with it for a moment, he had locked it and her fingers groped dumbly at the lock till she finally managed to fling it open. She rushed through, aiming to head back to the celebration. She would talk to Glinda right now, and be on her way immediately after. She would not look at Fiyero for the rest of the night, and she would not entertain his company ever again.

"Fae, wait!" His voice sounded from behind her as she reached the edge of the hallway.

"You are not allowed to call me that, anymore. Now, I suggest you leave me alone, my _husband_ would not appreciate seeing us together." She did not break her pace, and they were back in the bustling ballroom, bright lights illuminating them once more.

"Fae," He persisted, "How can I fix what's happened to us?"

She rounded on him, fire in her eyes, "You have my address, you can always _write_."

He was about to respond when a glass vase near them shattered, the bright tulips they once held fell from its stand and water dripped down onto the floor. A few people near them gasped, and stepped away.

"Elphaba." Steiner was behind her, of course he would be, he always managed to be around right when she'd done something wrong. She clenched her jaw, glaring at Fiyero as if to blame him for what she had just done.

"I'm fine." She insisted. She remembered his words from earlier, _One outburst…_

"Elphaba, we're leaving."

She looked at her husband. His expression was fierce, and he glared at Fiyero, then the shattered vase. Arguing with him would be pointless at this point, detrimental, actually. Further examination of his gritted teeth concluded that arguing could be simply dangerous. She supposed she wouldn't be seeing Glinda that night. That thought pained her, but she couldn't help but relish the look on Fiyero's face at Steiner's entrance. She hoped that the next time she dreamed of him, she would dream of how helpless he looked.

Steiner took her by the wrist, and led her through the crowd. As they moved to the exit, she worried how much he suspected happened between her and Fiyero, what conclusions he would jump to. She could tell by the fury in his face, the broken vase was not what angered him most.

**~OzOzOz~**


	4. Chapter 4

**~OzOzOz~**

The estate he had built for them was a dream. It sat atop a hill in a respectable part of Gillikin, surrounded by trees on all sides, except where a white brick path cut through the pines to meet the main road. A cozy servant's quarters sat on a separate part of the grounds, as did a sizeable stable. There were gardens and landscaping, though it was far from the extravagant affair that Glinda's was. It was tastefully elegant, a classic that would stand the test of time and remain beautiful no matter what the decade. He had high hopes of his children inheriting the house, though that dream was dying a slow death with each childless year. Construction had started halfway through their third year of Shiz, after she had agreed to marry him. By the time they had graduated, vows were spoken, and their new home was complete.

It sat now, atop that same hill, in the peace and quiet of evening. Servants had finished their duties for the day, and had already sent themselves off to their part of the grounds to enjoy a warm meal and discuss the day, the gossip they had heard, and such. They would stay up and drink, waiting for the carriage driver to return and regale them with all that he had seen and heard that night while at the celebration. They were always thankful for the Tourlock's refusal to have a servant in the house past ten in the evening.

The front door was hand carved by a respected Gillikin artisan. It was inlaid with small patterns, the geometric shapes were perfectly even and the doorknobs had been coated in imported gold leaf paint. It was a true work of art that should be handled with care…

And it burst open. The grand door swung with force, a feat for such a heavy piece of wood. It slammed against the wall, and a crack could be heard if one had cared to listen for it. Though as Elphaba and Steiner stormed into their home, caught up in their own chaos, they cared little for the door.

Their argument was a tornado, and it tore through the hallways as they moved through each room. They eventually landed in a drawing room off to the side of the main hall. Elphaba groped at the pearl choker she wore, eager to get it off, as they fumed at each other.

"_Unacceptable_!" He bellowed, "To be alone with him! Are you trying to make a fool of me? Have you forgotten what he's done to you?"

"Of course I haven't!" She screeched back, finding the clasp in her jewelry and tearing it off her neck. She threw it at a nearby catch-all, a shallow bowl made of some sort of jade that was supposed to impress people, "I'll never forget what a shallow and brainless idiot he is. Steiner, I can't stand him, how could you think I would-"

"A whole year at Shiz," He cut her off, "You were together for a whole year, and he insisted on keeping it a secret from everyone. He was embarrassed by you!"

She let out a furious exhale, "_I have not forgotten_."

He approached her. Anger seemed to make him taller, squarer in the shoulders. He seemed, to Elphaba, to mimic a bear standing on its hind legs. She couldn't help but shudder at what a frightening sight he made.

"What did you do with him tonight?"

"Nothing." The lie came easily to her tongue. She had rehearsed it so much in her head on the drive home that she had almost convinced herself that it was truth.

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to, I really couldn't care less about what you choose to believe or not believe." She took a moment to reflect on the veins that pulsed in his arms, he was tense to the point that she thought he might burst, "Now, excuse me, I'm going to bed, I have had my fill of arguing for the night."

She turned and made for the door hastily.

"No."

She stopped, and turned. Her shoulders tensed, and her face grew wild and fierce like a cat ready to pounce. A tiger advanced on a bear, and inches away from him she hissed "Pardon me?"

"You are not excused." He was blunt.

"You don't own me." Her response was quick, but his was quicker. No sooner had her words left her mouth, that a hand had slapped her cheek. Her mind reeled and her head spun.

"What-"

His hand matched her words even quicker this time, hitting the same spot. As her own hand moved to cradle her wounded cheek, she glanced around the room for some sort of magical outburst. There was none to be seen. But he had never done that without cause, she had always been acting out, destroying something. He was not allowed to touch her that way. She met his eyes, hers were wide with shock, his seemed unmoved.

"That was not warranted." She said, finally, fully anticipating another hit.

"It was, and I'll do it again if you need me to."

The hurt and shock were gone from her eyes; she let herself replace it with fury. She spun away from him, bursting out of the room and making a beeline for the grand staircase. She could hear him shouting for her to return, followed by him warning her to do what he said. This made her move faster, and she felt a deep need within her to do the opposite of whatever he told her to do. Soon after she reached their bedroom, she yanked open the closet and grabbed the nearest suitcase she could find.

In a blur of silks and wools, she began stuffing what she could fit into the case. She could go back to Glinda, she was sure she would take her in for the night at least. Or perhaps she could stomach the trip to Munchkinland, her father would let her in, albeit begrudgingly. If those options failed, a hotel would suffice. She would not stand for this sort of behavior, and she would not let herself fall victim to this sort of life. She was too strong to be reduced to a battered housewife who flinched when a man moved an inch.

Not long after her entrance into the bedchamber, he made his. He stood in the doorway, watching the scene she made as she pressed fabrics into the case.

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice was dark, foreboding. She tried not to be frightened by it.

"I am leaving," She said, ignoring how foul the air between them was growing, "I don't think I need to explain why. Don't you worry; I'll make divorce painless for you. I don't need any of your money; I've got my own back home in Munchkinland. Soon we'll never need to bother seeing each other again and-"

She cut off her own words with a shriek. He had grabbed her by the hair and thrown her face first into the bedpost. He sent her head crashing into the post one more time, for good measure, and let her crumple to the floor. As she cradled her head, she felt the weight of her dresses hit her back. Shortly after, the suitcase he had dumped them from landed on her as well. She let out a pathetic moan, still holding her face like she feared it would shatter if she let go.

"A divorce in Gillikin? Good luck with that," His voice felt like a blow to the stomach, "High courts in this part of Oz don't grant those if it isn't the husband asking for one, and I will not face that embarrassment. You are done embarrassing me, Elphaba. I will not stand for this behavior, and I will not stand for you running off into dark hallways with other men."

He stood over her menacingly. She shuddered and waited for more blows to fall, the anticipation was almost worse than the pain. No blows fell, though, just icy words.

"If you try to leave me again, I will break your legs."

He left the room without another word. The tiger had been slain by the bear. In her pain, she peered out from between her fingers, and focused on a nearby pillow that had fallen from the bed in the chaos. _Blow it up,_ she willed herself, trying to tap into whatever unnatural well of power she kept inside her, _Destroy it. Tear it up, control your power. Tear it up, and then tear him up._ But whatever was inside her would not bend to her will. The pillow remained unmoved and unharmed, while she remained thoroughly harmed and completely moved to tears. All this ability, all this potential that so many had seen in her so long ago, and all she could manage was to curl up into herself and pretend she had the strength to try leaving again.

**~OzOzOz~**


	5. Chapter 5

**(Yaaay! You guys, your reactions were exactly what I had hoped for! Fuel the fires of rage! Though, I wasn't expecting all the comparisons to Frex, but it's an honor to know you hate Steiner just as much! Just a heads up, this chapter is light on the Fiyeraba, but I promise a ton is coming very soon. Fiyero might be absent for a little bit, but absence makes the heart grow fonder and the ship sail stronger, right?)**

**~OzOzOz~**

"_Elphaba, stop." Fiyero's voice was frantic as he jerked his neck away from her lips. She felt the weight of his body leave her, and she felt empty again. He had leapt back so suddenly that it almost looked like she'd pushed him. He was examining the library, peeking around a bookshelf._

"_I didn't hear anything, no one is coming." Not many people braved the library this time of night; they had learned this from experience. _

"_Please whisper." That was his only reply as he took one last glance around the place._

_She cast her eyes to the ground, readjusting her glasses and noticing the pointed hat on the ground. She waved her wrist and it flew up to her hands obediently, Sorcery class had been going well. It had been knocked off in their passion, and she clung to it like a dear friend. _

"_Alright," He returned to her, "We're safe." An arm was drawn around her waist, but she tensed at his touch._

"_Fiyero, why are we still hiding?"_

_She saw something in his eyes. There was a deep shame in them, and he was trying to shake it off, "We're not. It just isn't anyone's business."_

_She pushed him back as he went in to kiss her, "Stop that. I want you to answer me. Why wont you tell people we're together?"_

_There was a very long silence. She regretted asking, she should have let him shut her up, get lost in their passions again. She saw his face contort; he was wondering how to say it. How to say what she had already suspected. _

"_I don't deal well with these sorts of things. Relationships, I mean. I've never been in one for quite so long before and, well…"_

"_I'm not the prettiest girl in Shiz." She finished the sentence for him. _

"_No, no, please Elphaba, that is not what I mean-" She could see a lie in his face as he said that, though he was trying his hardest to hide it._

"_I think I've had enough of this." _

_Elphaba Thropp exited the library with all the grace of a bull._

Elphaba Tourlock shook the memory out of her mind and buried herself deeper into the chesterfield she had spent her night on. It was well into the morning, she could tell by the dying fire and the light that broke through the curtains and managed to hit her square in the eyes no matter where she placed her head. A throw blanket covered her frame as best it could, but her feet managed to stick out despite all attempts to curl up. She had been awake for a long while, and refused to leave the spot she had rooted herself in. She had developed a severe knot in her stomach when she had realized that the events of the night before had not been a dream, and couldn't bring herself to get up.

"Madame?" A small voice squeaked somewhere above her. She stayed mute and waited for it to leave her alone, "Madame, you have a guest."

"Make them go away."

She heard the voice stammer, "Ma'am, please… I… I've already told her that the Lady of the House does not feel well, and will not be seeing anyone. I told her that just like you told me to, but… Well, that was over an hour ago and she will not leave."

Elphaba's head removed itself from the pillow; a pain shot through her as she found that blood had dried on it and fused her to it. She ripped it from her face with a grunt and stared at the maid. The girl seemed taken aback at the sight of her mistress' face, and Elphaba wondered how bruised she was.

"Who is here, exactly?" Caught up in her despair, Elphaba hadn't considered who the visitor was. She hadn't paused to reflect on how odd it was, considering she rarely had one. Perhaps some part of her assumed it was Steiner's father, dropping in for an unannounced guilt session or to question her about conception methods.

The nervous girl huffed, "Lady Glinda Paltos of the Upper Uplands. She's made herself a pot of tea and settled down in the sunroom. I've told her that it was improper to stay in a home she wasn't welcome in but-"

Elphaba was out of the room in the blink of an eye. She heard the girl calling after her as she rounded the corner, asking if this meant that she would see her guest. She aimed for the sunroom, and caught sight of herself in a hallway mirror. She looked as terrible as she feared she did. She still wore the fine gown from the night before, but it had wrinkled and torn in her fits last night. She had lain in it on the floor of their suite until he returned to the room for bed. He had told her to get up off the floor, so she did and promptly left. Though there had been a twinge of guilt in his voice, she had been surprised when he didn't drag her back by the hair. He seemed to trust that his threats had done a good enough job of keeping her from running. And it sickened her that it had. She hated that as she stalked through the house in search of a place to rest far away from him, she found herself avoiding the front door.

She couldn't see Glinda like this. A good-sized gash ran along her forehead, and it had opened fresh when she tore herself from the pillow. A bruise complimented the wound, covering what areas of her forehead the blood didn't cover. Her makeup hadn't been washed off, and a clear trail of it ran down her face marking where her tears had fallen. What good would it do her to have Glinda know?

"Madame?" The maid had followed her into the hall.

"Ten minutes." Elphaba made her way to the master bedroom, "Tell Glinda I'll only be ten minutes."

And Glinda Paltos waited for twenty. She was tapping at the sides of her teacup when Elphaba stepped into the sunroom. Glinda was radiant, as she was expected to be. She had taken time to tuck her pretty hair under a wide brimmed hat of blue, all the effort and thought that usually accompanied the Gillikinese darling was present in her lace ensemble. Her face, though, was crinkling with worry.

Elphaba had done her best to clean up. She had changed into a fine ankle-length dress and washed her face thoroughly, hiding any evidence of her emotional night. Her hair was pulled back into a low bun; a deep side part in her hair swept over her face and masterfully covered the gash, which had thankfully stopped bleeding for now. As she stepped forward to address her guest, she knew that bits of bruise were still visible, but she was confident it wouldn't get brought up in conversation.

"Elphaba, what is this?" Glinda's hand went straight to her friend's face, delicate fingers brushed the hair away and she took in the sight of the wound with a gasp.

She cursed herself for not winding a bandage or a headband around the thing, and pulled away. She seated herself opposite the blonde and reached to pour a cup of tea, "I would rather not discuss it."

Glinda took a moment to look the green woman over, twirling her fingers together in concern, but unable to find something to do with herself. Eventually, a soft giggle escaped her glossed lips, breaking the tension in the air like it was a bubble she had popped.

"Look at you, you're holding your teacup like a proper woman. I couldn't get you to hold your pinkie out like that in Shiz, no matter how hard I tried."

Elphaba noticed this, and found herself suddenly disgusted with the person she had been molded into. She could remember the days when the sight of a hairbrush had been enough to send her running from the room. Still, despite her newfound shame, she chuckled.

"Remember that time you put a flower in my hair? I was so angry with you, you used that binding spell Morrible taught us to keep me from taking it out."

"Oh, but it looked so pretty! The white daisy against that lovely black hair, oh, you should have seen the way boys were looking at it."

"I hid all your shoes till you reversed it."

There was a full, honest laugh shared between the two, the sort of laugh that can make one double over in pain. For a moment, they looked like the girls they had been back in school, laying in each other's beds and sharing stories. The laughter subsided after a while, and they were left in that calm, satisfied silence that always follows a good story.

Glinda continued, eventually, after she had her fill of the quiet "I know it isn't proper of me to show up unannounced like this, but I didn't know what else to do. You left so suddenly last night before I had been able to speak with you, which hurt me, you know. I thought you had gone off early to spite me, or perhaps you were a ghost and you had never been there at all. Then… please don't be mad, Fiyero told me what happened."

"You spoke to Fiyero?" The library flashed through her mind, she tried to stop herself. It was no use wondering what her life would be if she hadn't stormed out that night, if Fiyero had indeed asked her to marry him. She wished the mere mention of his name didn't give her such butterflies.

"Of course. He told me he didn't like the way your husband had his hands on you." Her eyes fluttered up to the gash, though she didn't press the matter when she noticed Elphaba tense up. She took a sip of tea and averted her gaze, "I told him to stay away for now, though he was quite eager to follow you home and make sure you were alright. We've both missed you terribly… Where have you been?"

Elphaba's hands gripped her cup with such force that it shattered in her clutch. She cursed, anger bubbling to the surface again, "Where have I been? Glinda, I've been here for three years waiting for you two! I've been here in this ugly house, watching my husband turn bitter and… and now this stupid teacup is broken, _everything is broken_!"

She threw the shards from her hand, a few pieces left behind scrapes but she paid them no mind. She flew up from the table in a blind, dumb rage. Glinda reached forward suddenly, her hands collecting the ceramic and piling them atop each other, "Oh dear, let me help! Elphie please stop shouting!" She cried, and before Elphaba could blink the cup had become whole again.

Glinda's voice was quivering as she leaned back, "Elphie, oh Elphie, I'm sorry it's the only thing I can fix! I know we're broken too, but I don't know how to fix that. I've written you so many times and I've never had a response, I assumed-"

Elphaba had been staring wide eyed at the teacup, "You've kept on with sorcery?"

Glinda, through tears, blinked at the woman across from her, "Of course. You haven't?"

"Steiner doesn't approve."

"Well then, I suppose I don't approve of Steiner." She waved a hand and conjured a handkerchief in it. Her friend was struck by how naturally it came to her; she'd made it appear with all the ease of someone who had pulled it out of her pocket. She dabbed at her tears, though she was crying so hard it made no use, "Elphie, you were so talented in school, we always thought that sorcery was what you'd been born to do. Even the Wizard had plans for you, for Oz sake! What have you done with any of your talent, any of your passions?"

She took a moment to breathe deeply into her kerchief, gathering her self-control, then stood up, smoothed her skirts and took a step forward. She pressed the handkerchief into Elphaba's hands and used a free hand to cradle her friend's cheek. Blue eyes pierced the green woman with an awareness that few people knew Glinda was capable of.

"I think I understand what's happened to you." As she spoke, she began tracing the cut.

Elphaba lashed out, smacking the hand away, "Oh do you? You think I'm some poor, helpless woman stuck somewhere she doesn't want to be? Do not think you can judge me, Glinda, you do not know my circumstances… Now I think you've stayed in my home long enough, it's improper to be here uninvited in the first place."

Glinda blinked away her surprise; calming herself with each breath she took and holding back a very severe reply, "Very well… Well, if you decide you are, uh… Unhappy with your circumstances," She was searching for proper words, "You can always visit any time you'd like. I didn't mean to offend. I am sorry."

A silk and lace train followed her out of the room as her heels clacked towards the door. She had done her best to keep her head high, but she was crumpling. Her breath heaved every now and then, despite her attempts to hold in her sadness.

As she left, Elphaba clutched the tear-stained rag in her hand and wondered why she had done that. Glinda could have helped… couldn't she? No, all she could do was turn the divorce into a battle of which family had more money and more status in Gillikin to sway the courts, and she was sure Steiner had more of both. Elphaba doubted there would be an outcome that didn't involve her being dragged back to him with a court order. And what he had said to her… She looked down at her legs and wondered if they would be worth the risk.

Her mind reeled over what Glinda had said. Had she said something about trying to get in touch with her? She couldn't be sure; she hadn't been listening too intently after the teacup had been fixed. But what sort of sense did this all make? If Glinda had indeed been trying to speak with her all these years, why hadn't she received any of her letters?

She began to shake; she closed her eyes and didn't feel so overwhelmed. She closed her eyes and she could almost feel Fiyero holding her.

**~OzOzOz~**


	6. Chapter 6

**(Mini hiatus and a month with no update? Whats that about, MeMillionthDollar? I don't know, I was lazy lazy lazy. Please forgive me!)**

**~OzOzOz~**

Dinner that night was in silence. Steiner and Elphaba sat at opposite ends of the grand table, her eyes fixed on her meal, and likewise with him. A grand fireplace roared between them, there seemed to be one in every part of this house. Thoughts churned inside her, she had so much she wanted to say to him, questions she wanted to ask him, if only she could find the nerve. She hated herself for feeling so weak. He had come home as the sun set that evening, and from that moment she found herself walking on eggshells. She was unsure of what would provoke him to lash out again, and she found it best to keep her distance and say nothing. But here, at the table, with only each other for company the quiet was killing her.

She spoke up after a servant had cleared the salad plates and left the room, "Glinda visited today."

"Hmm." He replied, distant and cold, "That's why you're wearing that horrible hat again."

Her stomach grew queasy as she touched the brim of the pointed hat; her meal remained untouched before her. She had to ask. If she couldn't leave him, she could at least make the best of this place. It wasn't too much to ask…

"She still practices sorcery. She's quite good at it, and the way she used it… well it didn't seem dangerous at all. I was thinking that perhaps I should start training again, maybe that would put it all in control and I wouldn't have so many outbursts."

His fork dropped from his hand and hit the plate with a clank; he looked up at her now with the same frightening eyes she had seen last night. Her voice shook at the sight, but she steadied it and continued.

"Maybe the problem isn't my magic, maybe the problem is that I've been holding it down. Please, Steiner," She pleaded to melt his cold stare, "This would make me so happy."

He unbuttoned his shirt slightly. She cast her eyes down, defeated before he'd even revealed his chest. She knew what this was; he had played this card many times before. He demanded her to look up in a tone so harsh that she complied immediately. The deep scar over his heart still had not healed; a permanent wound in the shape of an x served to remind her how violent her magic could be.

"You remember when you did this to me, don't you?"

"Yes." She whispered, "But I wasn't in control! I was emotional, I hadn't been going to Morrible's class when-"

"When you almost killed me. You're dangerous, Elphaba, your power is destructive. Sure, some people can train themselves to perform cute magic tricks and I'm sure Glinda has learned how to pull a rabbit from a hat. I'm sure it all looks wonderful, but _you_ can't control what's inside you."

"I can." She snapped back, "Please don't tell me I can't, I've been in control before and you've seen it. Please, I just want something to call my own, I want to work on something that will make me happy."

He let out a long sigh, and there was silence. After a beat, he spoke, "Fine. Give me a child and I'll consider sorcery."

She was dumbstruck, mouth gaped, "You say that like we haven't been trying."

"No, you haven't been trying. I have done everything to start a family; I have done my best for three years. You are the one who has been stopping us; you're defective. My father has been breathing down my neck about this, we need an heir, and I am getting impatient."

"Has it ever occurred to you that I'm not barren?" She knocked her plate forward, "Maybe you are the _defective_ one."

That did it. He was up from his seat and charging toward her. She leapt up and circled around the table, trying to maintain a distance, but she only delayed the inevitable. He grabbed the hat from her head, and for a moment she stood there struck by his action. Was he not going to hurt her? Well he was, it turns out, just not physically tonight.

He threw the hat into the fireplace, and it sparked up, catching fire immediately. She screamed, and ran to it but he caught her by the waist before she got close. He held her fast, even as she twisted and squirmed in his grip. She stopped struggling suddenly, he noticed her eyes fix on the burning hat, and he knew what she was trying.

"I swear, if you try and magic that out like you did with that letter, I will make this night very hard for you."

She looked away from the fireplace immediately, obediently. She hated herself for that. Part of her wanted to tell him to go to hell, but it was held down by the part of her that only wanted to survive the night.

"Steiner, please…"

"No. Watch it burn."

So she turned to face the fire again. The hat was collapsing, dying in front of her. Her connection to the woman she had turned away this morning, her connection to the girl she used to be. She had just begun to think it may have been giving her some sort of strength, and now it was disappearing from the world. Her legs were weak and she relied on Steiner to hold her up. Steiner, the man she had grown to hate so much in the last few years and even as she despised him with every bit of her, she needed him to hold her up. What a mess of a life she had fallen into. She thought again of the hat, and how it made her feel so like the Elphaba that her friends admired, so far away from the woman who took a hit from her husband. The fire consumed the hat entirely, and she watched Elphaba Thropp burn away into ash.

His vice on her waist tightened, "Never speak to me that way again." And then it left her, and he left her. He seated himself back in his chair and continued with his meal, as though this commotion had not happened.

Elphaba felt as though she was less of a person for it.

_Elphaba sped through the courtyard; she hiccupped and tried to swallow back her tears. Her stupid, stupid tears she wished she didn't have. Fiyero was one man, one annoying and shallow man and she refused to let herself cry over him. He should be the one crying, she thought stubbornly as she escaped the library. She would never speak to him again, she decided, though that was a decision she made quite often and broke easily. _

_She would speak to him again; she would kiss him and forgive him if he would just follow her. She stood for a moment, stubborn against the sharp nighttime winds. She listened through the howl for his voice, waiting for him to race after her in a fit of passion. She strained her ears to find him in the brewing storm. Nothing. Her body shook and she began to cry openly, now. He was not following her._

_And then, through the whistling winds, a voice… _

"_Elphaba?"_

_She let out a pathetic moan, wiping away her sadness. He had come for her, he had. A number of times, she had found herself wondering if he may be the one. A foolish thought, one she would never admit to anyone, but there was something electric about their fingers when they touched. Something in their eyes sparked when they locked. There were times, lying in bed after he had snuck in through her window, that she allowed herself to believe that this was true love._

"_Elphaba Thropp, what are you doing out here?"_

_She turned around and her heart broke. Fiyero had not followed her. Steiner Tourlock was standing before her, struggling to hold on to his scarf and coat, while juggling several books. A library ticket was stuck in one of his tomes._

"_Oh," She shuddered again, trying to expel any proof of tears from her face, "Just finishing a long day of studying. Going back to the dormitory now. Goodnight." _

"_Wait, now." He placed a hand on her shoulder before she could move, "You look like you might need some company."_

"_No. No, definitely not."_

"_Miss Elphaba, are you alright?" _

_She couldn't answer him. Instead her fragile façade broke and fresh, new tears poured from her. Oz, she was so tired of crying. Without a word, Steiner dropped his books and moved to embrace her. He held her so tightly she wondered if it was possible to ever feel as safe as she did now. She returned the embrace, burying her sorrows in his chest. A soothing hand traced her back lightly, and he muttered softly into her ear, assuring her that she would be all right. He held her for the first time that night, and in his arms, she decided she would never be sad again._

**~OzOzOz~**


	7. Chapter 7

**~OzOzOz~**

The sofa had been her bed for the past month. Every morning, Elphaba woke up with a groan, stretched out the knots she had developed from sleeping on the cushions, and would continued to lay there till someone came to drag her out for dinnertime. Steiner had made his point those nights ago at dinner, about wanting a child, though her despair over the hat had turned to anger and she had made it her job to keep away from him. He wanted a child terribly, and so she would stubbornly refuse him at night and stalk off to some part of the house. If he could deny her everything she had asked for, she could deny him this. One thing confused her about this situation; despite her refusals, he had not beaten her. This surprised her, though she had received a few rough handlings. A slap was the worst thing she had received after a particularly nasty fight about her avoidance. Though the force of it had been enough to knock her to the ground, she was grateful he hadn't thrown her head into anything.

This morning, she woke in the sunroom on a particularly uncomfortable lounge. It was not welcoming, but it had looked the nicest and cost the most money, so they had bought it. Though she was awake, and the bright morning light shone through the open bay windows, she kept her eyes closed. The rays wouldn't let her fall back asleep, but she would refuse to move for as long as her servants or her husband allowed it. Steiner would be away this morning on business, like most mornings. She took comfort in knowing that he wouldn't be around to disturb her till the afternoon.

In the quiet morning, she could hear a light footstep, a servant tip-toeing around his sleeping mistress, most likely. She ignored it and lost herself in thought. She was thinking more and more of Fiyero, which bothered her. That night at Glinda's gala had stirred everything up inside her. It would be harder and harder to ignore her feelings with each passing day since then. She found comfort in knowing that she would never see him again.

The early morning silence was broken by a horrid crash; the sound was so sudden that she leapt up from the sofa in fright. Her heart had almost managed to push its way out of her chest at the clamor and she searched the room for the source.

"Sorry." Fiyero stood in the archway, frozen in position. He was in the midst of placing the potted plants he had knocked over back into their original spots.

Anger immediately flooded through her veins at the sight of him. She snatched up a nearby pillow and chucked it hard at his head. He dodged it, but in the process, wound up tipping over the same pot he had been in the process of fixing.

"Are you mad?" She growled at him, "You have broken into my home!"

"Well I had to!" He shot back, narrowly avoiding another pillow, "Your servant at the door told me you weren't accepting visitors."

He'd always been stubborn, stupidly so. Before they had ended, she had found this endearing. He never learned the meaning of the word 'no'.

"I don't want to see anyone, especially not you." She said, calmer now that all the cushions had been fired and she was out of ammunition, "I thought Glinda told you to stay away."

"She did… And I did." He sighed, "I went back down south to the Emerald City. But I couldn't stop thinking about…"

"About what?"

He cocked his head in disbelief, "You know what. That night at Glinda's gala."

She stiffened in her seat. She could read the look on his face, clear as day, and she knew he wanted to kiss her again. She wanted it too, but what good would come of it? She could not open herself back up to him; give herself to him again only to be crushed by his insecurities. She would keep her vows this time; she would not entertain his fantasies again.

"I do not want to talk about that." She spoke, unable to stop her eyes from fluttering down to glance at his lips, his body, and every last handsome inch of him that stood before her.

"Please, Fae-" He took a step towards her, but she countered his move and retreated behind the couch. Her fingers dug into the delicate upholstery.

"What sort of fool are you? Are you daft? Now that I'm-" She choked back the word 'beautiful', it had always tasted foreign on her tongue and even as people told her she was she still found it hard to believe, "Now that I'm a proper woman you want me again. After I've curled my hair and learned how to dance, you've decided you can be seen in public with me."

"Fae! That is not why. I have spent my life since that night you left me trying to make us better. I've loved you before any of this, I fell in love with the girl who kept her hair in a braid and her nose in a book."

"You did, but not enough. You couldn't even hold my hand in the courtyard."

"No," He bellowed at her, the force of his voice freezing her in place, "No I couldn't. I was a coward, and I have spent every day regretting it. But I am not that boy anymore, Fae, and I have spent the last three years trying to show you."

She let out a wicked, mocking cackle. How dare he say such a thing, "What have you done in the past three years? You've all but ignored my presence!"

"Why do you keep saying that?" He was on her now, he leapt forward with such force she had no time to move before he took her head in his hands and held her fast. She tried to move, turn away from him, but he wouldn't let her. Caught up in his passions, he held her gaze and she could see all the pain in the world in his eyes.

"_Fae,"_ He sighed, his eyes watering, "Fae, I have written you so many times… Years and years worth of apologies, prose, confessions. I even tried for a stint to become friends again, anything as long as I could have you back in my life. You've ignored every one."

At that, she tried to jerk away again but to no avail. He continued,

"And Glinda, poor Glinda, she's never stopped writing. She told me she held a celebration once a month just in the hopes that you would show up. She kept such hope that one day you would let us back in." Her eyes were wide in disbelief at his speech, and she felt herself unwilling to move from their spot. He stroked her hair now, and she let him, tears were forming in her eyes too.

"Fae, how can you say we've abandoned you?"

"I don't understand." She managed to choke out the words before collapsing. He caught her, but she pushed his support away and sank to the floor. She shook with all the sadness and confusion in her soul, and she pulled at her hair, "I don't understand why I haven't…"

He slid down the back of the sofa, seating himself next to her on the marble tiles. They fell silent, she stared off into some distance and her focus softened till she was looking at nothing at all. After a moment, he moved a hand atop hers. They rested there for a moment, quite content in the silence. Elphaba cursed to herself suddenly, remembered her promise to herself and jerked her hand away.

"Get out." He was lying about this, he had to be lying. He had always been a spoiled prince who wanted what he couldn't have. He had never loved Elphaba more than the day she wasn't his anymore, "Get out of my home right now."

"Fae!"

"What did you think would happen today?" She crawled to her feet, "Did you think you would convince me to run away with you? What I have now is better than anything you could give me."

"That's not-"

"You'd be bored of me in a week. You'll get cold feet again when I ask you to take me out somewhere."

"You know I've changed! I've sent you so many letters-"

"_Well I did not read them._" She could feel the plants in the sunroom shake in tandem with her fury, "I am not interested in anything you have to say to me, you are a liar and you have always been dishonest. You should have followed me out of the library that night, you should have held me as I cried, and I will never forgive you for it. You're a terrible man, and one day you will be a terrible king. I weep for the Vinkus when you rule it!"

His expression hardened at her words, "You're cold. After everything I've said…" He stopped himself; "Fine, then. I suppose it's time to stop trying. You can rot in this opulent house, for all I care, Madame Tourlock."

He was gone after that. Elphaba was unsure how to feel. She should feel proud, confident in her ability to sniff out insincerity and proud of her convictions. He had to be speaking false about the letters. How could he write so much and she never saw one? She felt so hollow.

These thoughts plagued her throughout the day, only interrupted when Steiner finally returned home. He had the mail stack tucked underneath his arm. They crossed paths in the main hallway, but he ignored her. They had been giving each other the silent treatment as of late. She turned as he passed her, and studied him as he stalked down the hall to his study. A horrible thought crossed her mind as she looked at the mail he carried, and even as she insisted it couldn't be so, she followed him.

He was already seated at his desk, the fire crackling bright and hot as if a fresh log had been thrown in when she rounded the corner into his office. She moved to speak to him when something in the fireplace caught her eye. She moved to it, almost entranced by it as her suspicions grew. Without waiting for her powers to do it for her she grabbed a fire poker and began fishing what looked like parchment from the flames.

"What are you doing?" There was an urgency in his voice that she ignored, "Elphaba, stop that."

She pulled whatever it was from the flames, and she heard the squeak of his chair as he stood up and approached her. Though the paper was charred, and thoroughly destroyed she could still make out the few letters in the top corner that had once spelled out "Glinda Paltos of the Upper Uplands". As she blew the flames out of the thing, it became clear that what she held in her hands was a letter addressed to Elphaba Tourlock of the Tourlock Estate of Great Gillikin.

**~OzOzOz~**


End file.
